Internet Dating and Romance Scams

Welcome to the place to inform and educate yourself about safe internet dating

Empathising With Victims of Romance Scams

For people who have been victims of romance scams, getting over that sad episode in their life could be very difficult. The moment when a scam victim discovers that he or she was being deceived all along is a very painful and sad moment indeed.

Many anti-scam authorities focus only on the financial losses of the romance scam victims. But compared to the monetary losses, the emotional losses are often greater. The victim is typically emotionally devastated after the romance scam. Some of them cry all night, or for days on end.

And to make matters worse, they have to contend with criticism, disapproval, embarrassments and rejection by family, friends, colleagues at work and others who may get to hear of the scam.

Hardly do victims get the much needed support and understanding that they so desperately need. As a result, many people who have experienced romance scams keep the incidences to themselves, rather than tell others.

A lady in France who had lost some amount said she felt so stupid having to tell her son of her loss. She had to bear the shame of being told by her son that she was a fool for having lost money.

Another lady in the United States was literally treated as an outcast by her family members. They even refused to listen to her side of the story or to her explanations about the whole sequence of events.

These are a few of the typical stories of victims of romance scams, and their experiences at the hands of those who are close to them, who normally should have supported them.

What victims of romance scams need is not antagonism, or criticism. What they need is support from all and sundry.

No matter the mistakes they might have made, the very first reaction of other people, especially those close to them should not be to criticize them. They should be accepted for who they are, and comforted in their moments of trial. They should be shown compassion and kindness.

Later on, with time, corrections can be made as to what they did wrong. But when they have been scammed, they need the understanding of everyone around them, most especially their loved ones.

As more people rally round the victims of romance scams, they will get to heal easily and faster. And as a result of their recovery, they will be in a better position to help educate others and stop the scams from affecting more people.

Alan Prince has counselled and helped many victims of romance scams to get back with their lives.Many of the people he has advised have since found the love of their lives.You can learn more about his work on romance scams and it’s effects at http://www.elovedeceptions.com. You can also read his blog on http://www.alanprince.wordpress.com.

Advertisements

December 28, 2006 - Posted by | Uncategorized

14 Comments »

  1. I can attest that I have experience the same things if not more. It is a horrible thing to have to go through and to live with. The pain and embarrassment does not go away overnight.

    Comment by ms.ceejay | January 5, 2007 | Reply

  2. I was recently scamed by a con man from the USA He said he was from Chicago we developed a great relationship. He said he had to go to Nigeria on Buisness a few days later he was mugged he asked me to send him someone because the thieves mugged him and took his money, I sent $600 then he asked me for $4000 so that he could finish up his buisness deal and come to Toronto so we could gte married and be togther. Then he also asked me to apply for a credit card. I really loved him so I did but I told a friends about the situation they told me I was being scamed so I did research and realized I was. Luckily I only sent $600 I could tell he was American his accent was and Americain accent. He asked me to send the funds via western Union and he gave me the iformation of the bell boy saying it would be better i send it to the bellboy it would be safer.

    Here is the con man info
    He goes by the name David Jean
    Yahoo name jrjeanf@yahoo.com
    Blackpalnet.com Id: row2ray
    Claims he is from Chicago
    Nigerian phon number he uses 2348088942469
    the location he asked me to send the funds to
    I sent the $600 to Aruoture Ofotokun
    21 dele moohodu street
    ikosi-ketu
    Lagos
    Nigeria
    the photograpsh he uses look like profesional black and white phots like a model photograph

    beware of him he is very convincing!

    Comment by Monique | March 18, 2008 | Reply

    • i got scammed by the same person, i did not send money but had a fake cheque put in my account that bounced and luckily i had not taken any money out so noone was hurt. the data are identical but i have seen him on a different site with different pic as well, this was over 2 years ago but still eats at me from time to time.

      Comment by Jenny | November 1, 2010 | Reply

  3. Yes,

    I am certainly saddened by this deception willingly practised in our society today. I no longer feel innocent or safe anymore in online dating and feel disappointed that my confidence in dating services has been struck down.

    Well done Lavalife. How do you do it? I thought your policy was to screen out scammers and protect those who genuinely want to seek dating or a relationship on the internet. I know now you can’t be trusted. Five negative stars.

    Here’s one for you:

    Russian Con Artist (White Female):

    Goes by the Name : Marina.
    Email: marinkaaa1980@yahoo.com

    Beware this woman. I have heard she is in on a scam with her mother. Luckily for my natural instincts, in less than 24 hours, I put a stop to all communication with her after scouring the Internet and finally finding, of all things, the exact email she had written to me, posted to someone else across the world, having posted the exact first two photos she sent me!

    No more crap.

    We have been warned.

    Comment by Nick | April 2, 2008 | Reply

  4. I can’t tell you how much reading these articles has helped me. I have justed discovered that I ahve been a victim of a romance scam and I am devastated. This man goes by the name of Eric Campbell and he claims to be a widower with a 12yr old daughter named Ally.He is warm and oh so charming and he proposed marriage to me.Let me tell you he is the answer to a lady’s dreams when he wants to be.Since I am 62 and he claimed to be 60 neither one of us wanted a long engagement or aa fancy wedding–HA!He had to go to Nigeria to finish a contract and then he was coming to my home and we would marry.I didn’t suspect a thing I was a complete fool. We “spoke” via yahoo messenger his id is campbellis60@yahoo.com and campbellis6058@yahoo.com. At first everything was fine then Ally got sick and he asked me to wire money for her medicine because they would not take his credit card.Since the first request was for $200 I did not think I was being scammed.But then She needed more medicine and I sent another $500.Then he made a mistake he said she had a brain tumor and needed an operation. I told him to bring her home immediately. I then hired a private detective;something I should have done a lot sooner. It turned out that Eric Campbell of Erie,Pa. did not exist and I had been scammed. Eric continued to beg and plead for the money via phone and email. I flatly told him that I did not have the money and he would have to fend for himself.He even had the nerve to aske me to mortgage my condo to help him. I frankly told him to do something biologically impossible and that I was on to him and to leave me the hell alone. I have never felt so awful in my life. How could I have been such a fool.These men are hateful and will do and say anything to get money so beware. My words of wisdom—-TRUST NO ONE!

    Comment by Ellen Geiss | January 14, 2009 | Reply

  5. It is good to see someone talking about the emotional price that scam victims suffer, not just the financial losses.

    Shawn Mosch
    Co-Founder of ScamVictimsUnited.com

    Comment by scamvictimsunited | March 1, 2009 | Reply

  6. I was almost scammed by a very attractive and charming gentleman by the name of Mark Abramson from Brooklyn/Bronx, New York. After a week or so of professing his love for me in some very well written emails, he had to go to Nigeria for 1 week and 4 days regarding some art work for a design center. After only one day there, he was ‘beaten and robbed by thieves and his client was shot dead” . He was communicating with me from the hospital He could only raise $1200 of the $1800 to return home immediately, so would I send him the remaining $600 which he would repay as soon as he got back to the US. Red flags went up like crazy and I traced the IP address to the US. I immediately notified Yahoo and filed a report with the Internet Crime 3 website. After 3 days Yahoo has not even acknowledged my complaint.
    I did not send any $$$ but I really feel badly for whomever is the legitimate person in the photograph since he too is a victim.

    Comment by Rosemary Gibeau | May 16, 2009 | Reply

  7. Oh yes, his email address was loveandfriends2009@yahoo.com

    Comment by Rosemary Gibeau | May 16, 2009 | Reply

  8. Well, my story is 4 fold. Here are the fake names of some of the Nigerian scammers are using right now. Tim Watts/Tim Watters, Roland Walden, Stephen Walker

    I never knew about dating scammers, and 2 came from a paid website bbpeoplemeet.com and one match.com and the other got hold of one of the original scammers (Roland Walden).
    ALl use Yahoo. The first only lost 188.00 but the other tried running a false online bank transfer through my credit card and I had to prove that I did not know he was a scammer to the credit card company. It was for 3,300.
    That was 2 different men. The only way I knew there were two men claiming to be Roland Walden was that the (false Roland) Yahoo IM’d me one minute before the Original Roland Walden, Yahoo IM’d me. Right before my eyes were two different men. The original I caught via a website of mine which I don;t want to disclose how I found out where he was right down to his street. So, there are these men and women scammers on paid and unpaid sites.

    Comment by Jackie Garfield | July 13, 2009 | Reply

  9. Do any of the scammers go by the names of Dennis Doe or Dennis Scott?We et on MySpace Account. He claims to be a business man from Michican, on business in West Africia. I want to beleive him, but i have my doubts.

    Comment by Deborah Kesrawani | November 15, 2009 | Reply

  10. I was fooled by a man claiming to be Johnson Byran.Said he was from California. Told me he was a engineer and travelled a lot especially to London to get contracts. Said he got a contract in Lagos, Nigeria and would have to work there for a month before he could come see me. Interesting enough,as time came closer to fly over to see me…he had a series of unfortunate events occuring in one week. First he was hospitalised with Malaria, which he recovered within two days, then his hotel room was burgled and everything was stolen inc his money, passport and credit cards. Then he told me a few days later that his dad was in a car accident and was in a coma. The next day he told me his nephew was also in a car accident. He was then suddenly sick again, possibly with Malaria. The day after that he said he had no money to pay his employees and his hotel bill. The hotel management wanted to kick him out. I suggested he ask his sister for money, but he said she was too emotional to ask her for help. I also suggested he seek assistance from the USA embassy, he brushed that suggestion off. He didn’t ask me until a few days later for money and suggested that I send him money via Western Union. I was really conflicted & torn in two directions when he made the request. He made me believe he was in love with me and even sent love poems and letters, professing his undying love. (They turn out to be the same ones on lovingyou.com). He was so sweet and caring and wanted to marry me so quickly. However, something inside me felt it was odd but I still wanted to trust him thinking maybe I was just paranoid.Fortunately someone concerned did some research online for me and found his name on the nigerian scam list. I was and am still devasted at such a CRUEL scam, cos I was really in love with “Johnson Byran” but it was too good to be true. He slowly decreased the frequency and amount of time he spent with me online after he got his money and realised he couldn’t get anymore. I feel like I don’t quite have complete closure because I fell deeply in love with a man who didn’t exist. At least if a someone close to me died I could eventually resolve my grief. I’m left being in-love with a lovely & honest looking man in the photos that were sent. I sometimes wonder what his real name is and if he is aware that he is an innocent victim in this scam as well. I didn’t send much money but the Emotional damage and exploitation is the Hardest part to deal with! I have a broken heart that will take some time to heal….it was nothing more than a FANTASY!! MY DREAMS FOR A LIFE THAT I FOOLISHLY THOUGHT I COULD HAVE WITH HIM IS SHATTERED!! I WILL NEVER AGAIN BE SO TRUSTING OR JOIN ANY INTERNET DATING SITE AGAIN….it’s way too risky especially for my broken heart. I WILL Survive this because if I let him keep me emotionally wounded, then he has won and I will Still be scammed in an emotional sense!!

    Comment by Chloe | November 25, 2009 | Reply

  11. Hi Chloe,
    I’m right there with you…I,in a way, already feel robbed…my heart that is….and I truly did love him…which i find strange and bizarre in some ways…just goes to show how powerful love can be and how far/wide EVIL deceit can destroy the entire notion of LOVE….

    I still wonder to this day who i was talking with and who the man in the picture was????????????????????????

    Perhaps, I’ll never, ever find out….ONLY God knows.
    -LANNY 🙂

    Comment by Lanny | January 8, 2010 | Reply

  12. Well i think i was just scammed out of $1000.00 USD by a young
    lady named Whitney Jones. Her photos were probably stolen.
    She and her mother Donna Jones came to Ketu Lagos awhile back.

    Now Donna Jones is in jail for not paying a debt she owed a women. I have not heard for my darling Whitney for two days.
    ha! ha! Whitney has not picked up the money gram i have just sent her. odd for a scam.

    My story has all the nonsense of a scam. i HAVE ONLY SEEN HER
    PHOTOS. i THINK IT IS ONE PERSON POSING AS THREE PEOPLE.

    Comment by Wayne Blackman | January 10, 2010 | Reply

  13. well laies I am with you to I also got scammed by a man Harry straford his lie broke my heart I found out he was a scammer confrunted him kepy playing with this scammer in hopes I would find out his real idenity he still lie to me gave me a fake name of who he was really suppose to be that was a lie but it took me almost 2 years he got carless sent me some information to do something for him bam after googling what he sent it took me straight to face book to his real profile I turned all this information into the fbi here is what you can do any e-mail the scammer sends or uses there is usually a facebook profile linked to it dont fret ladis these guys are really ugly so eventho we might have lost a few dollars to them the way they look we all should go to bed laughing instead of crying google scammers 4 real faces and have a good laugh comment by Melissa

    Comment by Melissa | November 1, 2010 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: